So the other day I posted a blog about being a bit depressed lately and not knowing who I am anymore. A friend sent me the following today, and I wanted to share it because it's great insight:
"Perhaps you are struggling with self image. The jolly fat man was both security and an accepted stereotype for you to fall into. Surely as you no longer have food as a comfort, some support has been kicked out of from under you. I think the psychological component of weight loss and change cannot be underestimated and I think it would not be a bad idea to investigate some sort of counseling -- just as you got help with changing yourself physically. Perhaps you really are undergoing a mood swing / chemical change? Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus and yes, Mr. Cruise there is post partum. This could be similar. Just a thought. I'm not suggesting Woody Allen's years of psychoanalysis (nor dating your "daughter") but definitely if you feel the urge to vote for McCain -- GET HELP. LOL"
When I worked for the Department of Corrections, I had a lot of problems, especially, toward the end, with management harassing me and whatnot. This depressed me and sent me in a downward spiral. I ended up going to Employee and Family Resources for some counseling. Mostly the lady just listened to me and how unhappy I was due to that job and management. It was very cathartic just getting it all out there.
It wouldn't hurt to do that all again. We as people have baggage. It's just a fact of life. I'm a believer that some level of counseling is beneficial for everybody. I should look into some as my friend suggested.
I really have lost sight of who I am. Having been overweight for so long, my perception of my self was so wrapped up in that image. I was the jolly fat guy. I had to be happy in order to get people to like me. I wouldn't allow myself to have bad days, I guess, or at least not to show it as much. I just feel a bit lost now, I think. I have changed an incredible amount physically and probably emotionally/mentally as well. I have to reevaluate, somehow, who I am now. It may not make sense to those of you who haven't undergone such a drastic change, but it's real. As great as I feel about losing weight and transforming my body, I feel as equally lost right now.
So much about me has changed. I used to go to the bar and knock back 3 pitchers (18 beers) of Boulevard Wheat and not even have a buzz. Now that I've lost 114 pounds, I drink 1 pitcher (6 beers) and I'm buzzing -- a couple more than that and I'm drunk.
I need to explore some resources. I bet there's some good books out there. Maybe if I find some free time, I'll look for some info online. Maybe there are even support groups for people that have lost large amounts of weight. Who knows.
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